Sit in a comfortable position.
Close your eyes.
Breathe slowly and deeply: in through your nose…and out through your mouth.
In through your nose…and out through your mouth.
In through your nose…and out through your mouth.
Now breathe normally through your nose. In and out. In and out. In and out.
Imagine yourself in a room, and standing before you is the most important person in your life.
Think of your love and creativity as a small glowing sphere in your chest. The sphere gives off a warm light, and it is expanding.
Send a bright beam of love and creativity out of the sphere in your chest, toward the person standing before you.
The person receives your love and creativity with gratitude.
Now imagine that this person sends a beam of love and creativity back to you.
You receive this person’s love and creativity with gratitude.
The sphere in your chest keeps growing, and the warmth is spreading throughout your body.
You are just about to send a beam of love and creativity to yourself when the person standing before you says something.
Wow, that sphere is getting big, the person standing before you says. You should get it looked at.
But it is a sphere of love and creativity, you say in your most meditative voice.
Still, says the person standing before you, it wouldn’t hurt to go to the doctor.
The sphere in your chest keeps growing. You can now feel the warmth in your fingers and your toes.
Shit, OK, this is not normal, says the person standing before you. We are going to the emergency room right now.
I’m just doing what the meditation podcast said to do, you say. It said to think of my love and creativity as a small glowing sphere in my chest. It said to imagine that the sphere is expanding.
Did the podcast say your abdomen should bulge like that? says the person standing before you.
I don’t know, you say. I was only able to listen to the first twenty seconds before it cut me off. I didn’t want to pay the monthly subscription fee. I have too many monthly subscriptions as it is.
Tell me about it, says the person standing before you. I don’t even know why I still pay for Netflix.
Imagine yourself waiting for an ambulance. Hold on, says the person standing before you. Keep breathing. In and out. In and out. In and out.